Being honest but reacting less.
Staying Authentic means having opinions that you don’t agree with,
but being told I’m rude makes me question –
What is Authentic?
I don’t want to hurt you, me…
I want to fight without anger, but anger is all I feel when
Too big for one room; too small at home.
How much of my personality is perfect? Enough?
Where do I find that peaceful balance and
Sometimes I am perfect, enough…
With values for humanity, kindness, and love; with
fierce loyalty that bares sharp teeth in the best ways.
Movement of my body that is fed and watered well.
Edgy haircuts, nose rings, and a style exuding comfort and confidence.
A girlfriend I kiss every night. Warmth when I hold her hand. Steadiness in our relationship.
Sometimes I am empty, lonely…
Guilt-ridden for things I’ve said, fierce with anger; for irritability every period
with cravings that bring tears.
Feelings of doubt and hopelessness. Unworthiness –
followed by anger at the lies spinning round my head.
So much anger.
Thrown at her. Blamed on the world; on my depression; on too much caffeinated coffee.
Yet so much love.
Love for life – my life – for this world, for her, for days spent in the rain under a blanket.
How do I find balance?
To live with both so strong…
I struggle to find balance.
To find my authenticity.